Fraco

You left her twice before, cheated on her once, and you were ready to leave her a third time- to be with me. You spent months telling me that you didn’t want to marry her or have kids with her; that you were going to break up with her; it was just a matter of time.

You were always having big ‘blow-ups’. You avoided going home. All she did each night was watch TV while you did stuff in the other room. She had no real friends left. You couldn’t work out why you went back to her 14 months previously. You didn’t want anything to do with the ownership of her apartment. You had a joint bank account that you had never contributed to. You moved in with her because you thought that would help the relationship. You wanted someone who wanted to travel; who at least would see Australia with you, if not the world. She didn’t like camping; the Kombi was the extent of sleeping rough. She wanted kids soon and you didn’t. She spent too much time at her parent’s house, and it drove you mad. You had to see them about three times a week. She wouldn’t let you go away for the weekend to go fishing.

And then, having made up your mind, you suddenly couldn’t imagine your life without her. She is now your main priority, she comes first, her feelings matter most. She is helping you by talking through your issues. You are fixing things that you don’t like about yourself. You say you’ve been selfish for the past 4 years. You want to move on, forget about whatever happened and focus on your relationship and the future.

That’s the biggest load of crap I’ve heard in a long time. You’re trying to convince yourself as much as me. And seeing me, or even talking to me reminds you of the past and all the reasons why you were so unhappy when you met me. And I can’t believe that you can suddenly be happy.

Everyone says that you obviously have a lot of issues. I know that. They say that if you can treat her like that then you could treat me like that. I know that too. That you’re a spineless bastard. Yeah, I know.

But that doesn't change the fact that there were reasons I fell for you, why I was willing to give up everything to be with you. Why I was so happy when you wanted to be with me too. And I can’t just forget those reasons because I can see that you have problems and faults; just like me and just like everyone else.

I asked you what you wanted that first night that I realised you liked me. You said you wanted a partner who was your best friend. To walk with through life. I don’t know whether we would have been that couple, but that night we were both ready to give it a shot. What changed?

And why did you encourage me so much? Why did you say all those things, flirt with me, deliberately use those eyes? Why did you say that we might end up together forever?

That wasn't fair.